Thoughts from Becky Butler, Sheila's niece
Becky Butler is Sheila's niece and Becky always went out of her way to stay close to Sheila. She writes:
I can't tell you how many times I have thought of Sheila this past month plus. So many wonderful memories that just come flooding into my head. She has been one of the better parts of my life, and for that I will always be grateful. Such a loss to this family, hard to let it settle in. I know for you it hardly seems real, and hard to imagine how life goes on. However in time you will see that she has a full life, and mostly because of all of you. Sheila left you all with a wonderful gift, and that is the gift the essence of Sheila is in every one of you! Because of all the undivided attention she gave each and everyone of us, we carry her with us. What a wonderful gift for your children to pass on to their children. Hope springs eternal!
I have so many memories of Sheila, from the first time (6 yrs old) I took the trip to NJ, up until our last conversation about a month ago. I'm glad I always felt so comfortable telling her how much I loved her, even though I don't think I had to.
When I was six I cried all the way to NJ because my parents were dropping me off with your family and going on to NY. I was scared, I didn't know what to expect and because you lived on the other side of the world (to a 6 year old). As the story has been told, apparently at the end of my visit they came to pick me up, and I didn't want to leave. I insisted I could be a Parizeau because they didn't have as many kids, Sheila wouldn't mind. That was my first experience with Sheila's nurturing spirit. I like to think its where I got it from. Anyway, I guess a deal was not struck, and I cried all the way home because I didn't want to leave.
My first visit paved the way for many more to come. Remember when Gaga set fire to something on the table at Thanksgiving? Think it had something to do with the candles. Come to think of it, at Christian's wedding in France, Sheila and I noticed something on fire on the altar at the end of the ceremony where everyone was chatting and not paying attention to what was going on behind. Me not knowing how to tell the lovely priest in French his altar was catching on fire. Sheila pulled out her French and starts softly yelling to the priest.
Then a loud,
"Excusez-moi Père, FEU!"
She could put out fires.
Sheila had a way of taking things that could be serious or tragic, taking it all in, demonstrating understanding, then able to turn them into something to laugh about. I wonder if she was like that her whole life, or as a recovery skill when the love of her life departed so early. She talked to me quite a lot about her losing your Dad, and maybe because we both ended up raising our children on our own. I don't know.
What I do know is she was my best cheerleader. She not only taught me how to "get up" when you feel like to can't go on' but to "show up." She was always there for me and others in good times and in bad. She was a wonderful mother figure for me, and this week especially I thank God for putting us in each other's lives.
I loved to watch her with the little ones because she made such a fuss about them all. Her grandchildren (no offense) I think were the greatest pleasures of her life. Likely because she could have great fun with them then send the home to all of you. She was so proud of each and everyone of them, but not in a bragging sort of way. It was again a nurturing way. Sheila accepted everyone as they were, yet wasn't afraid to say how she really felt. You always knew though that love was at the core. I feel like I got to know each of the grandchildren (even tough I rarely saw them) in our conversations. She felt so blessed to be with them, and such a big part of their lives.
We all love Sheila. She was like Doc to me in a lot of ways. Always there for people and in a really genuine way. They never expected anything in return. I think back of many of things they taught us. Neither of them had a life free of trials and tribulation, yet they made the best out of what was given to them. Focus on the blessings, and the other stuff won't seem so hard kind of way. I don't think either of them had an enemy in the world.
One cute little story I thought about last night, then I will quit babbling on. We were at Thunder Bay many years ago and Kevin (John's son who was about 10) was trying to get his Dad to take him out in the fishing boat up on a trailer on the beach. He kept after his Dad who told him "later". You could see that wasn't going to be an option for Kevin as he kept pestering his Dad who was busy with something else. Sheila and I were sitting on the beach talking and we could see how bad this kid wanted it.
Sheila got up and said "come on Kev, lets get that thing in the water." She and this 10 year old muscled this boat and trailer down to the water and off they went. I could see the joy in both of their faces! It was the Sheila that has always been there for her family, and her family's family. I love that vision of the two of them, racing back and forth Lake Erie doing a little something they weren't suppose to, because who could so no to Sheila?
So many lovely memories! She has always been there for me, and I only hope that I could be half of that for those I love. So my heart breaks for all my Parizeau Family.
Sheila was a gift from God, and will always be a part of all of you. She taught you about family, love, perseverance, and basically human kindness. Remember that Sheila and Doug taught you also to laugh, and laugh they did. So keep the laughter in your day, in the days to come. That's always how I think of Parizeau's.
May you find great gifts in the days to come!
xoxoxox Becky
…And Dan Galvin, Becky’s son
Dear Parizeau’s
I am thinking of all of you, and I'm especially thinking of Sheila. So fun to be around, and extremely kind to my mother and me. She always reminded me a little of Doc, which is the highest praise I could give someone.
One of my favorite Sheila stories was when she went with Mom and I on a college scoping trip. I remember waking up in the backseat with the car at a dead stop on the thruway in the median between I90-E and I90-W on ramps. Sheila and my mother were trying to determine if Boston was east or west of Buffalo. I'm not sure how long we were parked there, but I am glad I woke up before a car rear ended us.
We visited Hamilton on that trip. On the way there Mom pulled over to ask a local which way to Clinton. He replied "Klinun?" and we couldn't stop laughing and none of us could properly pronounce Clinton correctly for about 10 minutes. So we were pretty late for the "tour" that Wertimers had scheduled with a group. About 3/4 way late. Sheila said "You go run up to them, and we will go on up to Ellie and Sid's and make like you had been with the tour from the start." The problem was it included some "flesh to press", etc. So clearly they would find out I hadn't done the entire tour. Sheila quickly skirted over the issue when Ellie pressed on, and basically told her we were tired and a quick walking tour and a nice dinner was a better plan. Uncle Sid was just find with that plan, and whipped up some of his famous barely-rare roast beef. (If you've eaten it, you'll know what I mean. I remember getting a kick out of Sheila's ability to disarm even Ellie's sharp edges with her kindness and famous sense of humor. Even though I didn't see much of Hamilton that day, I knew when I later chose to attend college there that as long as I carried my capacity for joy and friendship there with me, everything would work out how it was supposed to be.
I hope you all carry some of that same lesson Sheila helped teach me with you during this difficult time.
Lots of Love to you all,
- Dan Galvin
