"Make sure they are proud of something."

One time when my kids were all quite young, I asked Sheila to give me tips on parenting.  She had successfully parented 5 kids, and she was an incredibly connected grandmother to the growing tribe of grandchildren.  

As was typical of Sheila, she demurred and said she hadn't done anything special.  But I pressed her, and reminded her that she had raised 5 kids as a single parent after Doug died.

She thought a bit and then said,

"It's all about self-esteem.  Just make sure they are proud of something.  It can be school or sports.  It can be their ability to build friendships or their hobbies.  Or it can be their special interests.  But make sure they are proud of something real and authentic.  

You should let them know that you are proud of them, but it is more important that they are proud of it.  Whatever it is.  Make sure they are proud of something.  

That's what I did with the 5 of you and it seemed to work out pretty well."

Some of the best advice I've ever gotten.

Ernie